This Isn't Wonderland
by Starlightpuppy
Summary: Alice Swan has been bullied by Marie for most of her life, the only people that have gotten her through everything is Bella, Rosalie and Jacob. What happens when the Cullens move to town and what does Alice do to make Marie vow revenge? AH
1. Broken Disaster

AU: This is my first fanfiction, i hope you enjoy and constructive criticism is welcome. I warn you now, this story is nothing like Twilight, if you dont like it then please just leave it alone. As i said before, constructive criticism is welcome. If you do like the story i will keep writing, so please leave a review.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, that's Meyers job. I also do not own any songs that may appear throughout is story.**

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><p>Chapter 1: Broken Disaster<p>

I looked around the empty street trying to find shelter in the blistering heat. There wasn't many shops open in this small town on a Sunday. I half walked half ran down the main street until I found a small book shop. I pushed the heavy wooden door frame and walked inside, I sighed deeply as the cool air instantly cooled me down. As the door softly closed behind me I stepped onto the soft carpet and started walking to my favourite section of books, as I searched through the shelves to find a book I hadn't read I heard soft footsteps walking towards me. I spun around quickly and came face to face with Marie, her black hair was in a messy bun on the top of her head with short curls surrounding her round face, and she had too much make-up on for summer. She stood in front of me with one hand on her hips and the other hanging loosely at her side while her stiletto clad foot was tapping the carpet softly.

"Hello little Mary," she spat, using my first name because she knew I hated it, "what exactly do you think you're doing here?" She asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

"Uhm, I... I'm looking for a… a book," I stuttered, looking down at her pink toe nails.

She leant forward was she whispered into my ear. "Oh, looking for a book are you? Well maybe you should go somewhere else, because I don't want to be around filth like you," as she said that she pushed me away from her and the put her foot out so I tripped and tumbled to the floor. "And maybe you should watch where you are going before you ruin my shoes" she said as she walked away from me leaving me where I fell.

On trembling arms I slowly lifted myself up, and took a few deep breaths before starting to leave, but before I had the chance she rounded a shelf of books. When she saw me still in the shop her eyes narrowed and her lips turned into a scowl, I started walking backwards but was stopped by the shelf behind me. Her long legs only had to take a few steps before she reached me, she clamped her hands tightly on my small shoulders and pulled me to her closely "did I not make myself clear the first time?" she growled into my face and her breath smelt like smoke and bubble gum mixed together, she slowly let go of my shoulders and stepped away from me like she was going to get a disease, "I said leave." She ordered and pointed in the direction of the exit. When I didn't move she raised her voice "NOW!"

I quickly ran out of the store and only faintly saw a flash of blonde before I opened the heavy door and rushed into the hot summer air.

I didn't stop running until I got two streets away from the book shop and my worst enemy.

I doubled over myself trying to breathe, but the hot air was making it difficult. When i was finally able to breathe again I stood up straight and started walking home. The walk was about 15 minutes and by the time I reached the house I was dehydrated and felt like I was about to faint, it took all the energy I had to pull my key from my pocket and put it into the handle, I pushed the door open and stumbled inside before closing it behind me with my foot, I slowly walked to the small kitchen where I got a freezing cold water bottle out of the fridge and skulled from it until it was almost empty, I walked to the sink to refill it when I felt eyes on me. I tightened the lid on the bottle and slowly turned around where my sister Bella was standing watching me carefully.

"Is she back?" she asked and I instantly knew who she meant, I nodded looking down at the creamy tiles of the kitchen floor. I suddenly felt cool arms around me while Bella pulled me closely to her and I lent my head on her chest because that's the highest I could reach.

My sister was nowhere near tall but compared to her I was miniature. I was in my second last year of high school and the smallest in my class, I sometimes even got mistaken for a first year high school student. Bella softly played with my short hair and I started crying into her thin blue singlet leaving a wet spot. Still wrapped in her embrace she led us to the lounge room and sat me down on the three seater, when she sat down and got comfortable she pulled me into her and rested my head in her lap, I laid down and my feet didn't even touch the other side, as she resumed playing with my hair and softly running her fingers over my forehead I drifted off to sleep.

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><p>I woke up with a thin blanket covering my body and soft pillow under my head. I was slightly disorientated and started freaking out before I remembered that I was safe in my lounge room. The room was dark so I knew it was already night time and my father was probably home by now. I heard quiet voices coming from the kitchen but it was loud enough that I could hear every word being spoken.<p>

"She can't go through another year of this dad," Bella stated.

"She has you, Bella we can't just move because a girl is picking on her." Dad replied trying to keep his voice quiet but I knew he was having trouble.

"I'm not going to be always there dad, this is my last year and then what is she going to do? I'm not saying that we should just move but maybe she should go live with mum, at least until she finishes high school. If she leaves now before school starts then she will have enough time to settle in and it's not going to ruin her education." Bella retorted and my lip started quivering, I couldn't just leave. That would prove to Marie that she won and I couldn't give her that satisfaction.

"Alice, live with Renee?" Charlie scoffed, "have you fallen and hit your head Bells? Do you remember what happened when you two went to stay with her last summer? It almost caused world war III, and you are suggesting Alice go live with her for two years? Yeah because that's going to solve all the problems Alice has and will probably cause more. She is staying here and that is final," he almost yelled at her and I could almost feel her flinch.

"Dad that isn't the point, Alice came home and cried herself to sleep and you know it will only become worse once school goes back, the nightmares will start again, the sleepwalking and the night terrors will come back, can you deal with another year with minimal sleep?" she asked and I flinched at the reminder that for the last 4 years I have kept both Charlie and Bella awake with constant nightmares, night terrors and sleep walking nearly every night, the only time they stopped is on summer break when I could get away from Marie and her 'pose', because every summer she went back to south America and her friends left me alone.

"I have already found a way to solve that problem. Do not argue with me Isabella because I will win this argument and I will not let my little girl go live with that monster you call mum," his voice raised slightly but he brought it down until I could barely hear him, "Bella I know you are worried about her and so am I but there is nothing I can do about Marie, I have already talked to her parents and it seems that just made things worse, Alice just has to show to that evil girl that what she is doing doesn't bother her and she will stop. And I have a surprise for Alice that might make her feel better about going back to school this year, so stop arguing with me and go check on her."

I quickly lay back down and curled into the foetal position before pulling the blanket around me, closed my eyes and steadied my breathing so it seemed I was still asleep. I heard Bella try to sneak in to the lounge room but stepped on a lose floorboard which squeaked loudly and I heard her swear under her breathe. She continued sneaking towards me until she was standing above me. When she was convinced I was still asleep I heard her turn and begin to walk out of the room, I opened my eyes slightly and before she got to the hallway I sat up and yelled "BOO!" She screamed and jumped so high I thought she was going to go through the roof. She slowly turned around with her hand on her heart and tears in her eyes.

"Alice, you almost gave me a heart attack," she breathed heavily still trying to get her composure, "Im guessing you are feeling better?" she asked while moving her hand from her heart and placing it on her hip.

I stretched and yawned dramatically before answering her "yep, I feel fantastic, thanks for asking" I smiled widely at her.

"Good that means you can help me with dinner." She retorted and walked out of the room.

I groaned loudly and stood up, stretching my body and cracking my back before following her into the kitchen.

I helped cut the vegetables to Bella's standards and managed to sneak out of the room when she went to the toilet. Bella's passion was cooking mine however was not. I quickly ran up the stairs and locked my door behind me before sitting down on my bed. My room was small but I didn't have many things so it didn't really matter. I had my queen size bed, wardrobe and some other bits of furniture and that's all I needed.

I turned on my stereo and let the soft sounds of Taylor Swift filled the small space.

-You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me

You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I'm nothing

You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I'm wounded

You, pickin' on the weaker man

Well, you can take me down with just one single blow

But you don't know what you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big old city

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides and your walk-by lies and your humiliation

You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them

I'll walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you

I just wanna feel okay again

I'll bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold

But the cycle ends right now 'cause you can't lead me down that road

And you don't know what you don't know. -

I woke up with sweat running down my face and my clothes sticking to my body. I took deep breaths to calm myself down and then the pounding began, but this pounding wasn't in my head, this was coming from outside my bedroom door. "Mary Alice Swan, open this fucking door right now" my father was screaming from the hallway while banging his large fist on my door.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I screamed at him while turning off my music.

"I want you to open this door, we have company" he shouted back. After a few seconds I heard his heavy footsteps going down the stairs. I quickly changed out of my sweat drenched clothes and ran my brush through my hair before flinging my door open. As I walked down the stairs slowly I heard a male's deep voice that I instantly recognised as my best friends. I jumped down the remaining stairs and ran into Jacobs arms. He hugged me tightly until I couldn't breathe and then sat me on his lap.

"You look like shit Alice." He stated as I got off his lap.

"What can I say I'm a broken disaster." I replied, opening the fridge and getting two bottles of water.

"Don't talk about yourself like that Ali." He said as I threw a bottle at him. He caught it easily but kept staring at me like he was trying to get me to realise something.

"What are you staring at Jake?" I asked, walking pass him and walking to my room.

"Just my beautiful best friend" he answered, "and my new roommate." He added before following me.

"Your what?" I half yelled, I quickly turned around to face him but he was closer than I thought and I ended up coming face to face with his chest.

"You know, my roommate, it's when two people share the same room," he explained like I was a five year old.

"I'm not an idiot Jacob Black," I said stepping away from him, "why are we sharing a room?" I asked glaring at his smug expression.

"Because I'm moving in duh, sometimes I think you should be blonde." I slapped his chest when he said that.

"Ok, why are you moving in, and why do you have to sleep in my room?" I asked, scowling at him which only made him laugh.

"Because I'm going to Forks high school, and I want to be close to my bestest best friend." He replied after he stopped laughing.

"We can still be close if you sleep in the spare room." I explained crossing my arms, I felt like there was something he wasn't telling me.

"But I like your room so much better, what's the matter don't you love me anymore?" he asked sounding like a little kid. Instead of answering him I simply turned away from him and stormed into the lounge room where my dad and Jakes dad Billy Black were watching TV. I stood right in front of it which caused the two grown men to whine like two year olds.

"I have a few questions you have to answer before I let you watch your show." I explained to them while crossing my arms over my chest. "First, why is Jake moving in here? Second, why is he going to Forks high? And lastly, why is he sharing my room when there is a perfectly good spare room down the hall?" I asked, glaring at my father. He knew I didn't like my personal space invaded, even by my best friend.

"Jake, get in here," Billy yelled from his spot on the lounge. Jake then sauntered in with a piece of ham in his hand. He sat down next to my dad. "Alice, your father will explain everything but you have to promise not to say anything or get angry," he said to me and when I nodded he nudged my father to speak. Before he started I turned around and turned the TV off and then sat down on the floor.

"Ok Alice here is the deal. As you know Jake got expelled from La Push high last year and they refuse to take him back, so he is enrolled at Forks because he has nowhere else to go. He is moving in with us because its closer to the high school then La Push is and will be much easier for everybody if he stayed here during the week. And he will be staying in your room because we all know you don't have nightmares, night terrors and don't sleepwalk when someone else is in the room. He will keep all his stuff in the spare room but when it comes to sleeping he will sleep in your room, in either your bed, on the floor or and the pull out mattress. This is all for the best." I couldn't argue with my dad's reasoning but that didn't mean I had to be ok with the fact that no one told me until tonight.

"Well seeing as I have no choice in the matter, I'm going to MY room, call me when dinner is ready." I said as I got up and stomped up the stairs.

"You promised you wouldn't get angry Alice." I heard Billy yell.

"You've seen me angry before Billy and this isn't angry, this is pissed off." I shouted as I got to the top step.

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><p>AU: Did you enjoy it? If you did, please leave a review.<p>

For those that dont know, the song featured is Mean-Taylor Swift


	2. Hidden Scars

AN: This chapter gets a bit graphic so im warning you now. If you dont like it then stop reading, its that simple. However if you do like it please review, constructive critisim is always welcome. As i have said this story is not like Twilight and the characters have slightly different personalities but still have some resembalence to the orginal characters.

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilght or the character, i just do what i want with them.**

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><p>Chapter 2: Hidden Scars<p>

I stood at the sink waiting for the water to heat up. I stared at it so I wouldn't have to make eye contact with Jake. Once the sink was full I started washing the dishes roughly while Jacob dried them. Normally the silence between Jake and I was comfortable but tonight however was a complete different story. I knew I over reacted earlier but I couldn't find it in myself to say sorry.

Billy had left to go home about half an hour ago and it wasn't until I saw his car drive down the road that I came out from my room. I was ashamed at myself that I spoke to Billy like that. I had never raised my voice to him before and I didn't like the fact that I did it tonight. Billy was a gentle man that never raised his voice unless he had to and was disappointed in people that didn't have the same control. He was like another father figure to me and I hated to disappoint him, I made a promise to myself to apologise to him next time I saw him.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Jacob cleared his throat loudly. "Is something bothering you Jake?" I asked pulling the plug out of the sink and drying my hands on the towel he was holding.

"I don't like silence, and I hate not speaking to you." He answered me while patting my head.

"Jake I'm not your dog, stop patting me." I said walking away from him.

"But you're so pattable," he explained with a huge smile on his face. All of a sudden Bella walked into the kitchen, she glared at Jake for a minute before walking to the fridge, grabbed what she needed and stormed out of the room. "I sort of forgot your sister hates me," he said leaning against the bench.

"She doesn't hate you; she just doesn't necessarily like your existence." I explained, sitting on the floor.

"That is pretty much the same thing Ali, I still don't get why though."

"Uhm it might have something to do with the fact you broke her arm when we were ten." I reminded him.

"That wasn't my fault, I tripped and just happened to push her into the playground, it's not my fault she is fragile." He defended himself, at that exact moment Bella walked back into the room.

"I am not fragile Jacob Black," she yelled at him, "do not think for one minute that because you're my sisters best friend that you can insult me in my own home, if I hear you make one more comment of how fragile I am I will not hesitate to stab you with my cooking knifes. And remember, I know where all the sharp ones are." she yelled at him, at the sound of my chuckle she turned to me. "Get this dog out of my kitchen, I don't particularly like the smell of wet dog when I'm cooking." With that she stormed back out and ran up the stairs.

Jake and I quickly left the kitchen and went up to my room. We had planned to go straight to sleep, me in my bed and Jake on the pull out bed but it didn't exactly happen like that. Jake and I talked until midnight until he finally decided to get in my bed. I curled up beside him and felt his strong arms surround me. There was no romance in the way he held me, the love we had for each other was like a sister loving her brother and vice versa. I loved him like a loved Bella and my dad.

For the next week Jake and I had fun together, laughing about silly things and occasionally walking into town. He slept in my bed every night keeping me warm and safe. I didn't see Marie again so that was also a bonus.

My phone rang and my ringtone Every time by Britney spears filled the room. I dived onto my bed and answered it. "Hello," I said.

"'Bout time you answered bitch." My other best friend Rosalie said to me.

"ROSE," I shouted through the speaker, "when did you get back?" I asked, lying on my stomach.

"I'm still at the airport, plane just landed and I thought I should call my best friend before the taxi picked me up." She answered, "Next time I go to Italy you better come with, or ill drag your skinny ass with me." She added, the one thing I loved about Rose was that she said whatever was on her mind and she didn't care who you were.

"Fine I'll go with you, when am I going to see you?" I asked.

"Tomorrow, at school. I would come over tonight but I'm so tired and I have so much unpacking to do." As she said that my face fell, I had tried to forget that school was starting tomorrow. I groaned loudly. "Look babe, I got to go. See you tomorrow." With that she hung up. I was left alone in my room. I tried to hold back the tears but they escaped and ran down my cheeks. Jake and my dad were at the school organising everything for tomorrow and Bella was with Mike so I had the house to myself for a few hours.

Once the tears started I couldn't stop them, I hated her so much, I used to be bubbly and only saw the good in people but because of her I didn't see the beauty in things anymore, I didn't enjoy the things that once meant everything to me. When she left for summer i thought I would be free but she still taunted me, and now with school starting it was only going to get worse. I could feel it. I let the tears fall freely, but it didn't help anything, I still felt numb, I just wanted to feel something again.

I turned my head and looked at my bedside table, I knew exactly what was in it but the question was did I want to go back to my old ways?

I stared at it for a long time before I made my decision. I leant over and opened the draw, I pulled out a small jewellery box that was black in colour and had silver swirls decorating it. I opened the lid and the first thing I saw was the thick silver blade. I picked it up carefully, was I ready for this? I hadn't even looked at it since I stopped cutting myself. I told myself I didn't need it, but it was almost like the blade was calling my name. I rolled up my sleeve enough to see the faded scars, I looked at the scars and then back to the blade. I took a deep breath, placing it on my pale skin. Before I could move it down my arm the front door slammed loudly and voices filled the air. I sat on my bed with the blade in my hand until I heard Jake calling my name, the sound of his voice shocked me and the blade fell from my hands but not before it cut my skin slightly. I picked it up and stuffed it back into the jewellery box and put the box back in its rightful place. I quickly rolled down my sleeve just in time because just at that moment Jake walked in.

"Hey Ali, what's up?" He asked sitting beside me.

"Nothing, why would you ask that?" I stupidly replied.

"Because you look really agitated." He replied, patting my leg.

"I'm just nervous for tomorrow," I said quietly, it wasn't exactly a lie but it wasn't telling the truth either.

"Are you sure?" I nodded to him. "Ok, well Charlie bought home some food for dinner." As he stood up to leave he held his hand out to me and I took it gratefully. We walked down the stairs hand in hand, I felt like if I let go of his big hand I would crumble to pieces. I sat down at the small table and Charlie placed a huge bowl of Chinese takeout in front of me. I looked out and felt like I was about to vomit. I picked up my fork and started to pick at it, not feeling hungry. Jake kept looking at me while he was eating but didn't say anything until my dad went to watch TV. "Alice why aren't you eating?" He asked sounding worried.

"I'm not really hungry." I answered shrugging.

"You haven't eaten much all week, what's wrong?" He asked swallowing another mouthful.

"Nothing, I just don't eat as much as you." I stated, looking down at the food.

"That's bullshit and you know it. You look like you haven't eaten in years." He replied looking at me.

"Just leave me alone, if I want to eat I'll fucking eat." I yelled at him, before pushing my bowl at him and stomping off to my room. I slammed the door hard and sat on my bed. I heard him make his way up the stairs until he stopped at my door. I waiting for him to knock but it didn't come, after about 5 minutes I heard him walk away and close the door of his room. I wanted to go to him, to tell him I was sorry but I couldn't move, I felt numb. Tears started falling from my eyes again, and there was nothing I could do to stop them, only one thing could stop this pain. I opened the dram and pulled out the jewellery box for the second time in less than an hour. I picked up the silver blade and rolled up my sleeve but this time I didn't hesitate. It cut through my flesh and instantly started bleeding. While I stared at the wound a smile came to my lips. Blood covered my arm and started to drip on my bed. I quickly fumbled inside the open draw and pulled out a hand cloth. I didn't cut that deep but there was a lot of blood. I quickly ran to the bathroom and put it under cold water, I hissed in pain as the water touched the wound. I heard Jake's bedroom door open and I quickly shut the bathroom door with my foot. I turned on the shower so it seemed I was having a shower. I leant against the wall and slid down it until I was sitting on the floor. I held my wrist and started to cry because of the pain, it felt like I was on fire but it was a comforting sort of pain. At least I felt something for a change.

I waited until the cut stopped bleeding and then jumped in the shower. The water cleaned away the rest of the blood and for the first time I could see what I had down. As realisation sunk in I fell to the floor and started to cry once again. When I was done in the shower I wrapped myself in my towel and walked to my room. I closed my door behind me and sat on my bed. I put the blade in its rightful place and laid down. Sleep enveloped me like the snuggly blanket I had when I was little.

I sat up in bed abruptly, sweat ran down my face and my hands went straight to my neck. The dream seemed so really, my throat was sore as if Marie actually came into my room and strangled me as she did in the dream. Jake came bursting into my room, he opened the door so hard it hit the wall and swung back and hit him in the head. He stumbled back slightly holding his head, when he got his bearings back he continued to walk into my room. As soon as he sat on my bed I jumped on him and snuggled into his chest. That's how I fell asleep, my Jake protecting me from unseen evils.

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><p>AN: Did you like it? Hate it? Either way let me know.<p> 


	3. Blonde Boys and Passing Notes

AN: I'm sorry for the late upload. Rosalie and the Cullen boys will be in this chapter and you will see what I mean when I say this isn't like Twilight. I hope you enjoy this chapter and constructive criticism is always welcome. Thank you to everyone that has reviewed it means alot.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I just make the characters do what i want.**

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><p>Chapter 3: Blonde boys and passing notes<p>

When I woke up i was surrounded by Jakes huge arms. I was no longer in just a towel but was instead wearing Jakes shirt and a pair of boxers, while Jake was shirtless and only wearing pyjama shorts. I crawled out from underneath his arms and went to the bathroom. I had a quick shower and walked back to my room wrapped in a towel. When I walked into my room Jake was no longer there. I closed my door and started to get dressed. I put on a pair of black tartan skinny jeans and a white button up shirt; I finished off my outfit with hot pink tartan arm warmers and a pink tie. I just finished my makeup and hair as Jacob walked into my room, wearing a black shirt and denim jeans.

"Hey midget, you ready yet?" He asked sitting on my bed.

"I'm not short, I'm fun size." I reply as I zip up my knee high hot pink converses.

"Yeah whatever you reckon pixie." He stood up and walked out of my room.

I grabbed my bag and headed down stairs. Jacob was standing next to my Lexus Prestige and when I unlocked the doors he squeezed himself into it. "Geez, Ali you should definitely get a bigger car." He whined as I closed my door.

"I like my car; it's not mine or my baby's fault that you are a giant in a teenage boy's body." I replied as a drove out of my drive way. We drove to school listening to Linkin Park but other than the music there was a comfortable silence in the car.

I pulled up to school ten minutes later and parked next to a silver Volvo. One that I've never seen before. Jake and I stepped out of the car and started to make our way to the front doors. Before we got there Rosalie ran up to me and wrapped her arms around me squeezing me tightly and only letting me go when Angela walked up to us carrying several books in her small arms. Rose took the books from her and shoved them at Jacob, she then pulled Angela to her and crashed their lips together. We stood there for a couple of minutes watching the couple as they ran their hands through each other's hair while Rose's lips never left Angela's. Jake and I pretended to gag as we waited for them to stop kissing. When they did finish Rose walked back to me and punched my shoulder before slapping Jake. "Just because you two are jealous that you don't have someone to kiss everyday doesn't mean you can take it out on me and Angie," she said jumping on Jake and giving him a hug similar to the one she gave me. "Hey dog boy, why didn't you tell me you were coming to Forks? I would've brought your dog bowl." She said to Jake as she let go of him.

"Sorry Blondie, I just didn't feel like eating out of a dog bowl for my first day of school." He retorted smiling at her as we began to walk again.

"It's ok, I'll bring it tomorrow." She said wrapping her arms around Angela.

"Uhm, Jake can I please have my books back now?" Angela asked in a quiet voice.

"Sure Angie," Jake replied handing them back to her.

Just as we were about to reach the front doors of the school they opened loudly which made everyone turn and stare at the person that made the commotion. Maria walked out followed by Tanya and Jessica. Tanya and Jessica were wearing outfits that were almost identical to each other but in different colours, they looked ridiculous. But Maria looked stunning as always, she wore a bluey purple tank dress that had a band at the bottom to stop it from rising over her thighs, it also had silver and gold swirls covering it. She also wore black stilettos and a silver love heart necklace. When she saw me her lips turned into a slim smile as she started to walk down the stairs.

"Look who it is girls," she turned to her followers as she reached me.

"Ewww get it away from us." They both screeched before Maria grabbed me and pushed me to the ground.

"Don't fucking touch her you little bitch." Rosalie yelled at Marie.

"Or what, the lesbian bitch will hurt me?" she asked turning to Rose. "Don't think for one moment that you scare me." She said before turning and walking away with the other two girls. Jake turned to me and helped me up as Angela stood where she was, stunned.

"I swear one day that psycho bitch will get what's coming to her and I'll make sure I'm there to laugh at the little slut." Rose rambled as we started to walk towards the school again. We walked inside and I was glad to find that Maria was nowhere in sight. Our small group walked to our lockers and then I had to leave my friends to go to my first class. I walked into the room and because school hadn't started yet I was the only one there. I went to the back of the classroom and sat down in the seat next to the window. I pulled out my books and then rested my head on the table waiting for the class to start.

The siren sounded and the classroom was quickly filled with students that obviously didn't want to be here followed by the teacher who looked like he felt the same way the students did. I placed my head on the table again and stared out of the window. I felt something touch my arm and jumped from the sudden contact. The person that touched me started to laugh and then watched what the teacher was writing on the board. I did the same and started taking notes while I sneaked quick looks at the person sitting next to me. He was tall and muscly with shaggy blonde hair that he kept moving out of his eyes which were a deep green. He wore a grey/blue V-neck shirt and faded denim jeans with black vans. To say he was handsome would be the understatement of the decade. I saw his lip twitch slightly into a small smile as he turned to me. "Do you know it's rude to stare pretty lady?" He said, his voice was like honey. At the pretty lady comment I scowled and turned my attention back to the board not looking at him for the rest of the period. When the siren rang signalling the end of the period I grabbed my things and rushed out of the room. My next class was English and I got there just in time to get the back seat again. Thankfully Jake also had this class and he sat next to me. While I took notes on what the teacher was saying Jake was staring at a girl a few rows away from us and she sat in the perfect spot for Jake because he could easily look at her and not get caught. As I looked up she pulled out her phone and quickly typed something before putting it back in her pocket, moments later I felt a buzz in my pants pocket, I pulled out my phone and looked at the text

**Leah- **Can you please tell that freak next to you to stop staring at me, it's freaking me out.

I quickly typed back and placed my phone in its rightful place. "Jake, stop staring at Leah. She doesn't like it." I whispered to him and I saw his face fall and then light back up again.

"Her name is Leah?" He asked smiling, I nodded looking confused. "One of the Facebook quizzes say I'm going to marry someone whose first name starts with L."

I laughed quietly at him, "dude if you keep staring at her she will kick your ass, and ruin your chances of marrying her." I laughed shaking my head, how could he seriously believe them quizzes?

"But-"he started to say but was cut off by the siren.

"I'll talk to you about this later." I yelled to him while walking out of the classroom. My next classes went by quickly without any sightings of the new boy or Maria. A sigh of relief was heard from everyone in my class as the siren rang signalling the start of Lunch. When I got what I wanted to eat I sat down at our regular table where Rose and Leah were already sitting, talking quietly. "Hey guys." I said sitting down. They both nodded and smiled at me but kept talking, I heard Leah say something about a new guy staring at her for most of her last period and that he was really cute. As soon as another presence was felt at the table the girls stopped talking and looked up. Leah's eyes went wide with shock as Jake sat down next to me and put his arm around me. Her eyes then narrowed at him and she started to scowl. "Uhm, so Jake how were your classes?" I asked moving out from under his arms, I knew the look on Leah's face and frankly she sort of scared me.

"They were fine Ali, there is this really pretty girl in some of them." He answered smiling at me and then Leah. At the sound of being called pretty Leah stood up and stomped out of the room. Great Jake pissed off the strongest girl I knew.

"Jake word of warning, do not under any circumstances ever call Leah Clearwater pretty. Because seriously she will kill you." Rose warned with a smile on her lips. Just at that moment Angela came walking over and sat next Rosalie. She nodded to us before eating her lunch hungrily. Jake looked at me and then my barely touched lunch, he looked like he was going to say something but thought better of it so he began to eat his own food. While everybody except Rose ate I picked up the apple and custard pie and started to nibble on it slightly.

I looked at Rose and she looked disgusted. "Seriously how do you guys eat that? It looks like shit" she complained.

"Because Rose, unlike you we aren't anorexic Barbie's that only need water and caffeine to survive." Jake said with his mouthful. If anyone else called her an anorexic Barbie she would of gone psycho at them but Jake had been calling her that for year so she just shrugged and smiled at him while taking a sip of her coffee.

I quickly scanned the cafeteria and saw Maria on the other side of the room with her legs wrapped around blonde boy, she had her head rested on his chest and her hands in his hair, she also wore a black biker jacket that must belong to the new boy. They were sitting with Tanya and Jessica and two other boys that I had never seen before. Tanya was running her hands along the skinner guy's chest while he tried to wiggle away from her and Jessica was resting her head on the bigger guy's shoulder. All three boys looked uncomfortable in the situation they were in. I looked back at Maria and the new boy, how the hell did she get him that fast? I thought to myself. I looked back at my friends as Jake cleared his throat.

"I wouldn't let Maria catch you staring at her boyfriend if I was you Alice." Rose said looking at the table.

"So they are dating?" I asked her.

She shrugged while nodding. "They met while they were both in Peru. Apparently they have been inseparable ever since." She answered as the siren rang ending our conversation and lunch. I quickly ate the rest of my apple pie and put the rest in the bin while walking to my next class.

I sat in my usual seat at the back and pulled out my books getting ready for the class to start. Just as the second siren rang the large muscly guy I saw with Jessica walked into the room and the teacher instructed him to take the only seat left which just happened to be next to me. He sat down with a smile and pulled out his things, his smile never left his lips. He wore a light brown shirt with a bear printed on it, it hugged his muscles and somehow made them look even bigger, he also wore grey denim jeans and black sneakers.

"Hey I'm Emmett" he introduced himself eventually.

"Uhm, hi I'm Alice" I responded shyly. He looked at me quizzically.

"Really, because I swear I heard Maria say your name was Mary" he finally said.

"Yeah it is but I prefer Alice." I replied turning my attention the teacher. I felt something touch my hand, I looked down and saw a neatly folded piece of paper resting ontop of my hand. I opened it nervously.

-Wanna be my friend?-

I rolled my eyes but wrote back.

-I don't make friends with people I don't trust-

I pushed it toward him and continued to take notes hoping he left me alone, but unfortunately I felt the paper being slid under my hand.

-why don't you trust me? You don't even know me-

I sighed and gave in.

-Because I don't trust people that are friends with the person who goes out of her why to humiliate me on a daily basis. And you don't look like you should be in high school-

I pushed it back and hoped he got the hint. But again I felt the note under my hand I few minutes later.

-If you're talking about Maria, Jessica and Tanya I am not under any circumstances friends with them. I put up with them because of my brother and I don't really know anyone else here. If I don't look like I'm meant to be in high school then where am I meant to be?-

Reading the note actually made me believe he was being sincere with telling me he didn't like the three girls.

-ok fine we can be friends because I have a feeling like you would do anything to get away from them, even become friends with someone that may or not be a serial killer. You look like your meant to be in a Calvin Klein ad or in jail-

I heard a soft giggle as he read the note.

-haha I haven't heard that before. Are you saying I'm hot? Wait you aren't a serial killer are you?-

I smiled as I looked at the note, just as I was about to write back the siren sounded ending our little written conversation.

I walked to my last class and sat down next to Rose and Leah just as Maria and Tanya walked in. They both glared at me but didn't say a word as they sat down, I felt a strong hand on mine as I kept my eyes focused on the board trying not to look at them.

"So I'm guessing she hasn't laid off Alice?" I heard Leah whisper to Rose. I turned slightly in time to see Rose shake her head as her face turned to stone when she turned her head to look at Maria. At that moment the teacher informed the class that she needed to leave the classroom for a few minutes and the students had to behave. As soon as the door closed Rosalie jumped out of her seat and lunged at Maria.

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><p>AN: Ok I'm sorry i just couldn't help myself. If you need anything from this chapter cleared up just PM me and ill try and explain as much as possible. Please review and let me know what you think.<p> 


	4. Iced Mochas and Cute Smiles

AN: This chapter is slightly shorter than the other chapters. As always constructive critisim is welcome. Thank you to everyone thats reviewed, it makes me feel special.

To answer your question **EsmeAliceRose **no Emmett is not gay.

**marzu93** there may or may not be a Bella/Maria fight scene, I'm not to sure yet but i have an idea, if it fits into the story then there might be. Also Bella and Edward aren't major characters in this story so there wont be alot of them but I might be able to squeeze a conversation between them in the story. Oh and they will **NOT** be in a relationship at any stage of this story.

So with that over here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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><p>Chapter 4- Iced Mochas and Cute Smiles<p>

I jumped from my seat to pull Rose off Maria but Leah's strong arms were around me so instead I yelled at Rosalie to stop. Tanya was clawing at Rose but when Rose flung her arm back it sent her flying into some desks. Rose proceeded to punch Maria over and over again as she tried to fight back but Rosalie surprised her so she wasn't getting very far in getting Rose to stop. All of a sudden the door swung open surprising Rose. Angela was standing there with her mouth open and tears in her eyes. She then turned around quickly and ran off down the hall.

Rose went to get off Maria to find Angie but Maria quickly regained her posture and pulled on Rose's hair, making her fall to the ground. Maria jumped on Rose and started to punch her stomach, it wasn't until then that Leah let me go to help her friend. Rose quickly regained her posture and fought back, suddenly the door was thrown open again and our angry teacher stormed into the room followed by the school security guards. The two burley men grabbed the girls and pulled them away from each other. Rose screamed at the man holding her to let her go or she was going to charge him with sexual assault. When he finally did she lunged at Maria again but the man was suspecting it and quickly grabbed her waist pulling her out of the room followed by the man that had a secure grip on Maria's wrist. I heard Rose screaming all the way down the hall, when it stopped there was an eerie silence in the room as the students looked out the door, shocked. Finally the teacher turned to look at Leah, Tanya and I. She stared at us until she finally pointed towards the door. "I know for a fact you three were involved with this. Go to the principal's office NOW." She almost shouted at us. We stalked out of the room and made our way to the office. Leah was by my side while Tanya was ahead of us slightly. Suddenly she turned around glaring at us.

"I hope you know that that psycho lesbian bitch friend of yours is dead meat." She spat before turning around again and walking off.

Leah sped up her pace slightly and grabbed Tanya's blonde hair. "Is that a threat Tanya? Because if anything happens to Rose I will snap you like a twig. Got it?" Leah asked menacingly, glaring at her. Tanya pushed her away with shaking arms and ran away from us. Again we started to walk to the office. When we got there Mrs Cope the school secretary looked up at us and instructed us to sit down. Tanya was in a seat next to the blonde boy, she was sitting with her hands on her face obviously crying. I sat down next to him with Leah on my other side. She scoffed as she saw Tanya crying. "Wimp" she said under her breath. The new boy looked at me with a slight smile on his face before patting Tanya's back.

"Shhh, it will be ok." He whispered into her hair. The principal's office door opened and Maria and Rosalie walked out with their heads down. Maria held an icepack to her face but a bruise was already starting to form. Rose had a similar pack on her knuckles. Rose looked up as she saw me but all she did was smile and wink before walking out. Maria however stormed out without giving us another glance. I heard Mr Greene's thick voice as he called Tanya into his office. She shuffled inside and closed the door behind her. We sat in silence as Leah gently massaged my shoulders.

"Your friend is crazy." The blonde boy suddenly said with a smile.

"Well your girlfriend is a psycho bitch." I stated looking away from his beautiful face.

"Yeah I agree. She can be a psychotic bitch at times." He chuckled showing his teeth. I stared at him confused.

"If she heard you say that she would kill you." Leah stated moving her hands down my back.

"Meh, she doesn't control me. And I'm not that into her anyway, I just pretend to love her so she doesn't stalk me like she did in Peru." He rambled making me scowl at him.

"That's horrible; you can't just pretend to love someone." I said looking away from him. "I know Maria is evil but she doesn't deserve that." I stated as I looked up at him again. He was looking down at his hands.

"Well you don't deserve the things she's done to you, and from what I can tell you aren't even slightly evil." He replied, looking over at me with his head still down.

"H…How do you know what she's done?" I asked confused.

"Maria likes to brag about the things she does to hurt you, she feels like she has all the power by making you scared of her. Do you still have the scar on your shoulder?" He asked me. I looked at my shirt which was covering the thin scar that Maria gave me on my 14th birthday, she told me it was her 'present' to me. I closed my eyes trying to forget the painful memory and the shine of the knife as she held it in her hand. I didn't speak but I felt my head nod at his question. Finally Tanya walked out with her head held high and a smile on her thin lips. She turned to us looking at Leah and I before turning to new boy.

"Bye Jasper, I'll see you tomorrow." She waved to him before leaving, flicking her hair over her shoulders as she passed a group of jocks. They stared after her with their mouths open, to be honest she was quite beautiful but her beauty was overlooked when Maria was around.

Mr Greene then called Leah and me into his office. He gave us a grief warning that we were not to be involved in another fight on school grounds or we would get suspended, he then dismissed us after telling us to leave the school and not to go to our last class. As we passed Jasper I flicked my hair with my hand "bye Jasper, I'll see you tomorrow." I said in an overly girly voice much like Tanya's. He laughed while shaking his head.

"Who knew an emo could be so cute." I thought I heard him say. I shook my head; there is no way he thinks I'm cute. I walked to my car and started to drive home when I remembered something, Jacob was still at school. I sighed but turned the car around and drove to a café that was almost next to the school. I walked in and ordered my usual iced mocha with pink sugar. When I sat down waiting for my drink I pulled out my phone. I texted Jake so he knew where to meet me and then placed my phone on the table. All of a sudden my drink was in front of me, I looked up to see who I should thank. Jasper was standing in front of me smiling. "Thanks." I thanked him while taking a sip of my mocha.

"No problems, it is my job after all." He replied while turning to walk away.

"Jasper, why aren't you at school?" I asked him before he was out of hearing range.

"Mr Greene sent me home like he did with you and seeing as I was already working today I decided to come in early." He answered but kept walking.

I looked at my phone to check the time, only half an hour and then I could go home to sleep. I yawned and then my phone vibrated.

**Jakey**- Ok Pixie, why aren't you at school.

**Me**- I'll explain when you get here.

I put my phone in my pocket and took another sip of my drink. I then rested my head on the table and closed my eyes.

Suddenly I was jolted awake by someone that was shaking me. I screamed and jumped back only to see that Jasper was the one shaking me. He laughed at my overreaction. I looked around the café to see if anyone saw but the store was empty except for some workers. "Sorry to wake you but schools almost over and I don't think you will like to be stared at while you sleep." He said simply before walking away, he returned shortly after with a drink in his hand. It was the same one that I ordered when I first walked in here but this one was ice cold and full unlike the one I bought. "It's on the house." He said smiling at me, just at that moment Jake walked in carrying his school bag on one shoulder. He walked to my table as I stood up and then we left. I looked back through the small window and saw Jasper staring at me with a smile on his perfect lips.

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><p>AN: So what did you think? Like it? Hate it? Either way let me know.<p> 


	5. Cutting people into stars

AN: Sorry for the late upload. As usual i hope you like it, i'm really nervous about this chapter so let me know what you think. Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions. As always construction critisim is welcome.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

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><p>Chapter 5: Cutting people into stars<p>

When Jake and I got home I went up to my room and closed the door, I changed out of my clothes and put an oversized shirt on and pyjama pants. I also put on a jumper to cover the newest cuts on my wrist. I went down stairs where Bella and Mike were watching a movie being all lovey dovey. I sat on the floor and started to watch Romeo and Juliet with them. After about half an hour Jacob walked down but when Bella glared at him he quickly ran back to his room. I laughed and followed him. I walked in without knocking and sat on his bed while he was listening to music.

"What's up Ali?" he asked turning his music down.

"Do you know what my favourite quote from Romeo and Juliet is?" I asked ignoring his question.

"Uhm isn't it the one about dying and being cut into stars?" he answered; I laughed at him and nodded.

"When he shall die. Take him and cut him out in little stars. And he will make the face of heaven so fine. That all the world will be in love with night." I quoted smiling.

"Who would want to be cut into stars when they died? And what girl would want other people to be in love with the love of their life?" He asked with a confused look on his face.

"That's not the point, she is saying that Romeo is so amazing that the world should be in love with him and when he dies he should be remembered for lighting up the world in its darkest hour." I explained, smiling at him.

"Why is that your favourite quote?" He asked still looking confused.

"I don't know, I think it's romantic." I explained to him.

"Well I think it's confusing. Actually I think all of Shakespeare's work is confusing. Seriously who speaks like that?" I laughed at the confused look still on his face. If one thing was for certain it was that Jacob would never be a major in English literature.

I stood up and walked over to him; I leant down and kissed him on the forehead. "Don't worry about it Jake." I walked out of his room, closing the door and walking to my room. I turned on my laptop and sat on my bed with it on my lap. While I waited for it to load I quickly checked my phone and saw I had one message from Rose.

Rose- I'm sorry for what happened today Ali and I hope you can forgive me. I know how much you hate fighting. Anyway I'll be back at school tomorrow, all I got was detention. Hope you didn't get into too much trouble. Love you hunni, ttyl.

I quickly texted her back. By the time I was finished my computer was completely loaded. I went on Facebook and logged in.

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><p>Angela Weberwent from "in a relationship" to "single".<p>

**Ben Cheney:** You ok Angie? If you need to talk just message me.

**Angela Weber: **Thanks Ben, I'm fine.

**Rosalie Hale: **Angie please answer your phone, I really need to talk to you.

**Angela Weber: **Fine but you better be ready to beg.

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><p><strong>Jacob Black: <strong>Girls and Shakespeare are confusing me, who compares people to stars?

**Sam Uley: **What the hell are you talking about?

**Jacob Black: **Romeo and Juliet. There is a quote about people dying and being cut into stars.

**Sam Uley:** Dude I'm worried about you. Why are you watching Romeo and Juliet?

**Jacob Black: **I wasn't, it's Alice's favourite quote.

**Quil Ateara: **Of course it's her favourite quote, it's about cutting and shit.

**Jacob Black: **Dude that's my best friend.

**Quil Ateara:** Yeah and? She is emo so she likes all that shit right.

**Sam Uley: **Quil don't stereotype people. Just because she dresses all emo doesn't mean she cuts herself.

**Quil Ateara: **But I know she does, I've seen the scars. I used to fuck her remember?

**Sam Uley: **This isn't a conversation that should be on Facebook.

**Alice Swan: **Fuck you Quil.

**Quil Ateara:** Hunni you already did remember?

**Alice Swan: **Don't fucking call me hunni.

**Quil Ateara:** Awww I made the emo angry, are you going to go cut yourself now? Can I watch?

**Jacob Black:** Seriously Quil shut the fuck up. Don't talk about or to my best friend like that.

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><p>Angela Weber is now "in a relationship" with Rosalie Hale.<p>

**Ben Cheney: **That was quick. I'm glad you sorted everything out.

**Angela Weber: **Thanks Ben. She still has a lot of begging to do though

**Rosalie Hale:** I'm convinced that you're evil.

**Angela Weber:** But you still love me.

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><p><strong>Rosalie Hale: <strong>Going to Angela's to watch the notebook and to have a legally blonde marathon. I'm never going to make her cry again :/ that girl knows how to torture me.

**Tyler Crowley** and 4 others like this.

**Jacob Black:** Angie, take pictures so I can see the look on her face.

**Angela Weber:** Ok Jake. Rosie it's not that bad.

**Rosalie Hale:** Angie please don't take pictures, isn't watching the movies enough.

**Angela Weber:** But you said you will do whatever I want you to do.

**Rosalie Hale:** Fine I'll be there soon.

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><p><strong>Bella Swan:<strong> Having a Shakespeare marathon with my amazing boyfriend Mike.

**Lauren Mallory:** Omg I knew he was gay.

**Bella Swan:** Haha Lauren trust me he isn't gay. He is way too good to be gay.

**Lauren Mallory:** I know we are best friends and everything but that is way too much info. I'm going to go get the images out of my head. Ttyl babe.

**Bella Swan:** Ok, talk to you tomorrow. You could always call Eric ;)

**Lauren Mallory:** Good idea, dammit he isn't answering his phone. Oooo I might go play with the new boy ;)

**Bella Swan:** Edward? Haha I thought he was with Tanya?

**Lauren Mallory:** She wishes. They live next door to me and I've been playing with him since they got here. He is really good with his fingers.

**Bella Swan:** How did I not know about this?

**Lauren Mallory:** I don't know, I guess I didn't think it was important.

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><p><strong>Jane Volturi: <strong>My brother is an idiot, how am I related to him?

**Alec Volturi:** We are related because our parents had sex.

**Jane Volturi:** Thanks for the visual image bro.

**Alice Swan:** You two make me laugh, when are you coming back to Forks?

**Alec Volturi:** The real question should be when is my Alice coming to Italy? I miss my pixie.

**Jane Volturi:** She isn't yours Alec, you don't own her. Get over her already, she doesn't love you. But yes Alice when are you coming to Italy. We really hoped you would come over with Rosalie.

**Alice Swan:** Sorry Jane, I was trapped at home, grounded :/ Alec I miss you to.

**Alec Volturi:** Jane that wasn't very nice. She does love me she just doesn't know it yet

**Alice Swan:** Alec yes I love you. Like a sister loves her brother.

**Jane Volturi:** Haha burnt.

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><p>Alice Swan is now friends with Emmett Cullen.<p>

**Emmett Cullen:** One good thing about Forks is the cat fights. And the emo pixie that is my new friend.

**Felix the Cat: **Dude what have you been smoking up there? There is no such thing as pixies.

**Emmett Cullen:** Not actual pixies but short people that look like pixies. If you don't believe me look up Alice Swan.

**Felix the Cat:** Haha whoops. Dude she is hot for an emo.

**Emmett Cullen**: You think so? Jasper thinks the same thing. I just see her as a cute little sister I never had.

**Felix the Cat:** How long have you known her?

**Emmett Cullen:** Since today why?

**Felix the Cat:** And you already see her as a sister?

**Emmett Cullen:** Yeah I guess.

**Maria Sanlina: **Jasper thinks she is hot?

**Emmett Cullen:** Uhm no, I meant a different Jasper.

**Maria Sanlina:** Do not lie to me. Why isn't he answering his phone?

**Emmett Cullen:** Because he dropped it in the microwave.

**Jasper Cullen:** Thanks bro, thanks a fucking lot.

**Maria Sanlina:** I'm coming over right now.

**Emmett Cullen: **Please don't.

**Maria Sanlina:** Why not. If I want to see my boyfriend I can.

**Emmett Cullen:** Well he isn't home. He has fled to Australia so there is no point in coming over.

**Maria Sanlina:** Jasper, answer your phone right fucking now.

**Emmett Cullen:** He can't.

**Maria Sanlina:** Why not?

**Emmett Cullen:** Because his phone broke when he threw it at my head.

**Maria Sanlina:** Bull fucking shit.

**Edward Cullen:** He is telling the truth Maria. Jasper is on the floor right now trying to fix it. And Emmett is bleeding from where the phone hit him.

**Maria Sanlina:** Fine, tell jasper I WILL be talking to him tomorrow.

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><p>I logged off Facebook and turned my computer off. Jacob walked in a while later and sat on my bed.<p>

"What's up Jake?" I asked as he leant his head on my shoulder.

"I tried to add Leah on Facebook but she declined and inboxed me saying to leave her alone. And to stop being a creepy stalker."

"Jake, Leah is like that. If she doesn't know you she will be the biggest bitch. You just have to give her time to warm up to you. Oh and don't talk to her first, don't stare at her and don't call her pretty." I warned while rubbing his head.

"Thanks" he muttered and then got up and walked out of my room.

About an hour later Jake came back to my room ready for bed. I moved over and he laid down next to me.

"Ali, can I ask you a question?" He asked.

"Jake you just did, but ok." I answered.

"I know you used to cut yourself and I'm pretty sure you have stopped but I need you know. Are you still cutting yourself?" He asked pulling me close to him.

"What brought this on?" I asked looking away from him.

"The thing Quil wrote on Facebook." He answered. "So have you stopped or not?"

"Well I did stop. But last night I did it again." I answered as a tear left my eye.

"I know I saw the cut on your wrist when I dressed you."

"Then why ask?"

"Because I wanted you to actually tell me." He answered with a sad look on his face. He sat up and went to get off the bed. "I'm going to sleep in my own bed tonight." He stood up and left closing the door behind him. I started to cry uncontrollably, letting the tears take control of me. I looked at my drawer and opened it, letting the tears dry on my cheeks. I pulled out the jewellery box and opened the lid. I looked at the shining blade and picked it up. Out of all the things I had used to injure myself this was my favourite. It left a clean cut and you could control how deep you wanted the cut to be. I looked at it and moved it between my fingers, watching as the light fell on it. I stared at it for a while before my door suddenly opened. I tried to hide the blade but Bella was to quick and snatched it out of my hands.

"What the fuck Alice?" She screamed at me. "I thought you stopped this shit."

"I… I did," I stuttered looking down at her feet.

"If Charlie found out he would have a fucking heart attack." She yelled, waving the blade around.

"Bella be careful it's sharp." I warned, she stopped her ranting and looked at me and then the blade. Suddenly she rolled up her sleeve and placed the blade on her thin wrist.

"What would you do if I moved this blade and it cut me? How would you feel if you saw blood coming out of a cut that I made? What would you think if I inflicted pain upon myself?" She screamed at me. Mike and Jacob were standing at my door looking shocked as they saw what was happening. Mike went to grab Bella but Jacob was holding him back. "Mary Alice Swan, answer me. What would you fucking do if I did what you have done?" She yelled at me again. With every word she said realisation crept into my brain. I wasn't only harming myself but I was also hurting the people closest to me. Every time they saw the scars they wondered why I did it. They must if thought all different things. Was I the reason for it this time? Why does she keep doing it? Don't say anything that might upset her. Don't do this, don't do that. With my self-harming I was making the people I cared about the most walk on egg shells around me.

I started to cry uncontrollably again, and when I felt Bella's arms around me I flinched and jumped away from her embrace. I felt the bed move slightly as Jacob sat down next to me on the bed. "Alice, shhh it will be ok, stop crying. She isn't going to do anything." He reassured me, lightly rubbing circles on my back.

"I'm so sorry." I sobbed hiding my face. "I didn't realise that my self-harming was hurting everybody, not just myself."

"It's ok Alice. Where have you hidden them?" Bella asked pulling my hands from my face. I knew exactly what she meant without her actually saying it. I stood up and walked around my room, pulling out various self-harming tools I had hidden. I put everyone in Bella's waiting hands and when I was finished she walked out of my room and down the stairs. Jake walked out after her but stopped at my door.

"I'm proud of you." He muttered before closing the door behind him.

I collapsed in a pile on the floor as the tears took over again. When I heard my phone beep I stood up and picked it up. I looked at the message confused.

Unknown- You are perfect just the way you are, scars and all. Love your secret admirer.

Me- Who the fuck is this?

Unknown- Your secret admirer.

Me- What's your fucking name?

Unknown- Swearing won't get you anywhere. It will just make people think you're a bigger slut than you already are.

Me- Fuck you.

Unknown- Geez you are a slut, want to fuck someone you don't even know the name of. I thought you were better than that Mary.

Me- You are pathetic, go get a life or something.

Unknown- I believe you are the person that needs to get a life. At least I'm not the person that locks herself in her room crying herself to sleep every night.

I sighed and turned my phone off while sliding into my bed. I quickly fell asleep and for the first time ever I dreamt of running through a green field chasing butterflies while Jasper stood in the background with a perfect smile on his face.

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><p>AN: Love it? Hate it? Let me know.<p> 


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